Eren would like to think that he has a better handle on time, on the way things are, the disconnect between then and now that threatens to dislodge him sometimes. That's only lying to himself, though. Anytime something happens, it kicks him off kilter again, and he hasn't been exactly fine since they reached the basement and the floodgate of his memories started to pour out.
The truth — that time and being out of sync still affect him pretty deeply — is very obvious today. Sure, this is some, what, some fake place? He's not entirely certain how it works. He was an idiot to get involved in anything that wasn't quite real to begin with, but that kind of thing has never stopped him before.
Here, though, seeing Bertholdt Hoover at a destroyed wall is incredibly jarring. Of all the fucking people to be fixing a wall…
Not like Eren has any room to talk. Sure, he shored up the walls at home. Then he tore them all down a few years later. He doesn't really have any ground to stand on talking about destruction. He can live with being a hypocrite.
He reaches for anger. He finds it, of course; there's always some seething rage inside Eren. He's been angry all his life. Nothing has ever cooled him, not really. He can tamp it down or find ways to direct it, but he can't move on or forgive things, so he's always just angry.
But he's not really angry at Bertholdt, not anymore. It's been years. Lifetimes. Hours. He understands what they were trying to do. He understands fighting like hell for people you love, making terrible choices.
A half-acknowledged memory tugs at him, Bertholdt, his mother, the day the walls came down.
He rejects it. He's not ready. He tries to remember when they are. Bertholdt, seventeen forever (because of me, Eren thinks, because of Armin, because of us). Eren, on the cusp of twenty-one, an age he never imagined he would see. There is a gulf between them now, a bigger one than before.
Here and now, he tells himself. Even if this place is fake. Even if Bertholdt isn't real, won't stay, it doesn't matter. It feels real enough.
They don't have to be enemies, if only Eren can find a way to be something different.
He tells himself to not be too big of a dick because Reiner loves Bertholdt and Eren…well, put a pin in that because we don't do feelings here. Unfortunately, Eren is still Eren and he can't just be a normal fucking person so the first thing he says isn't very nice.
"Must be weird building a wall instead of wrecking one, huh?"
metaverse later; i will not apologise for him bc you already know what he's like
The truth — that time and being out of sync still affect him pretty deeply — is very obvious today. Sure, this is some, what, some fake place? He's not entirely certain how it works. He was an idiot to get involved in anything that wasn't quite real to begin with, but that kind of thing has never stopped him before.
Here, though, seeing Bertholdt Hoover at a destroyed wall is incredibly jarring. Of all the fucking people to be fixing a wall…
Not like Eren has any room to talk. Sure, he shored up the walls at home. Then he tore them all down a few years later. He doesn't really have any ground to stand on talking about destruction. He can live with being a hypocrite.
He reaches for anger. He finds it, of course; there's always some seething rage inside Eren. He's been angry all his life. Nothing has ever cooled him, not really. He can tamp it down or find ways to direct it, but he can't move on or forgive things, so he's always just angry.
But he's not really angry at Bertholdt, not anymore. It's been years. Lifetimes. Hours. He understands what they were trying to do. He understands fighting like hell for people you love, making terrible choices.
A half-acknowledged memory tugs at him, Bertholdt, his mother, the day the walls came down.
He rejects it. He's not ready. He tries to remember when they are. Bertholdt, seventeen forever (because of me, Eren thinks, because of Armin, because of us). Eren, on the cusp of twenty-one, an age he never imagined he would see. There is a gulf between them now, a bigger one than before.
Here and now, he tells himself. Even if this place is fake. Even if Bertholdt isn't real, won't stay, it doesn't matter. It feels real enough.
They don't have to be enemies, if only Eren can find a way to be something different.
He tells himself to not be too big of a dick because Reiner loves Bertholdt and Eren…well, put a pin in that because we don't do feelings here. Unfortunately, Eren is still Eren and he can't just be a normal fucking person so the first thing he says isn't very nice.
"Must be weird building a wall instead of wrecking one, huh?"