Hearing the crack in Levi's voice fractures something in his chest. That night...their last night inevitably comes tumbling back. His stubbornness, his selfishness, trying to hold Levi at bay because there was always a small chance that Erwin would give in to that request. Levi had been willing to take the blame for whatever would have happened in Erwin's absence, to take the heat of responsibility away from him, if it meant keeping him alive.

He'd refused. His dream wouldn't allow him to be absent from the moment the truth of their world was revealed, no matter the cost. In the end, his stubbornness hadn't granted him that wish, but Erwin has to hope that his presence had helped at least some of them survive. Had helped Levi survive. Surely, that had been worth it. That alone, he won't regret.

But here they are again, somehow. Levi giving him an excuse, to back out, offering to take on any criticism, to really break all of his limbs if it'll keep him safe.

What Erwin sees in his eyes, changed after four hard years, breaks open his chest. All of the pain he caused, his foolishness, all of the things he couldn't do because he wasn't there...and here he is, having learned nothing, apparently, wounding Levi like this all over again when he has no real reason to this time.

I've had enough of watching you die.

His grip tightens on Levi's, eyes blurring. Carefully he lifts their hands away from the flower, and heedless of the dirt that remains on them, pulls Levi close, into the circle of his arms. Both of them. His embrace is fierce, a little stooped so that he can hide his face in dark hair. Erwin holds him so, so tightly.

"I won't do that to you again," he whispers softly. "Forgive me, Levi."