If he had not been there, it's possible that none of them would have made it back that day. Perhaps if Eren could have outrun the Beast's rocks, a few of them would have still gotten away, but...

Levi understands that Erwin had to be there that day, both because of his wishes, and because it had allowed the other nine of them to go forward, for better or worse. But he doesn't have to like it. He doesn't have to let it play out again.

He blinks angrily, trying to maintain that stare without it getting blurred, but a moment later he's being pulled into a hug and he lets himself crumble, just a little bit, a soft gasp-like noise muffled somewhere against Erwin's chest before he wills his arms to move and wrap around the other man in return.

Perhaps it's a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Perhaps it's a little sob. Perhaps another argument, cut off before it could turn into words.

"You don't need to apologize to me," he mutters flatly, letting his weight rest against Erwin's frame because the moments where he doesn't have to be strong are still rare even here, if less so than back home. "But you'd better keep that promise."

Don't do it to me again. That's all I ask. My biggest selfish wish.