Eren listens, eyes dark, that terrible cultivated distance trying to resettle into him. He's not really successful; he can't keep that blankness for long, especially when he's angry.
Ultimately, though, Bertholdt isn't who he's angry at. He can never forgive what happened when they were children. He doesn't know how. He doesn't care to learn. But if he can accept Reiner, maybe someday he can accept Bertholdt too.
For now he softens only slightly, at war with himself and his hatred.
"I know," he finally says, and it isn't derisive or a challenge. It's just...the truth. "How could you know? You were kids. That's all."
It isn't forgiveness, but he really does get it. The world was so much worse than any of them dreamed, in Marley or Paradis. It's worse even than that thanks to Eren. He has never been sorry for the world. He doesn't care if it burns. All he wanted was freedom, a clean slate outside the walls.
There was never any such thing.
And now there's...this, a boy long dead and one who has outlived the time allotted to him, stolen two years he won't have at home. He can't and wouldn't give Bertholdt's time back, but if he stays here, can he also be something different? That's a nice lie Eren tells himself, tells Reiner, that they can choose to be something else here. He wants it to be true.
"I've spent a long time away from that hell," he says. "And I'd rather die than go back. The stakes aren't the same here."
That is also a lie, at least on some level. For Eren, the stakes are the same. Save his people at any cost, even if that cost is the world. He has no idea what amount of stolen time they get to have here, but he'll fight with all he has to keep them here and safe and whole. He includes Reiner in that calculation; eventually he has to include Bertholdt because Reiner does.
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Ultimately, though, Bertholdt isn't who he's angry at. He can never forgive what happened when they were children. He doesn't know how. He doesn't care to learn. But if he can accept Reiner, maybe someday he can accept Bertholdt too.
For now he softens only slightly, at war with himself and his hatred.
"I know," he finally says, and it isn't derisive or a challenge. It's just...the truth. "How could you know? You were kids. That's all."
It isn't forgiveness, but he really does get it. The world was so much worse than any of them dreamed, in Marley or Paradis. It's worse even than that thanks to Eren. He has never been sorry for the world. He doesn't care if it burns. All he wanted was freedom, a clean slate outside the walls.
There was never any such thing.
And now there's...this, a boy long dead and one who has outlived the time allotted to him, stolen two years he won't have at home. He can't and wouldn't give Bertholdt's time back, but if he stays here, can he also be something different? That's a nice lie Eren tells himself, tells Reiner, that they can choose to be something else here. He wants it to be true.
"I've spent a long time away from that hell," he says. "And I'd rather die than go back. The stakes aren't the same here."
That is also a lie, at least on some level. For Eren, the stakes are the same. Save his people at any cost, even if that cost is the world. He has no idea what amount of stolen time they get to have here, but he'll fight with all he has to keep them here and safe and whole. He includes Reiner in that calculation; eventually he has to include Bertholdt because Reiner does.