Eren nods. Of course Levi knows. He wonders how much Levi really saw in the metal titan, but there are still things Eren has hidden from himself. It's more than he'd like to have shared, but that damage is long done now.
There are things that Eren has convinced himself are true that are too subjective. Whether he really needed all of them to hate him is one of them. Was there really no other path? He'll swear up and down there wasn't, but they'll never know now.
He's a little surprised by Levi's agreement. Levi isn't the most forthcoming, though he isn't dishonest the way Eren too often is. Maybe they owe it to each other to try to say things more often than they did. Eren will never believe the outcome could change, but he's said over and over that he wants to be different here. He means that. It's a slow journey, but it's something he's worked on.
"I'm the same as I've always been," he says, a hollow old thing he clings to. He's convinced himself that he's been the same since birth, but that's nonsense. No one, not even Eren with all of his issues with and mastery(?) of time, is static. And Levi didn't say he'd changed. It's just hard for him to imagine he's better here, even if he wants to be.
"But we don't have to be the same in this world. I know that."
At least he doesn't take Levi's faith in him for granted. He doesn't take any of their support for granted now. He might finally be realising that nothing he does will ever sever ties all the way. He can do irreparable damage, but it's not like he stopped caring about Reiner the day he found out about him and Bertholdt. It's a lot more complicated than that. Why should Levi — or Jean, or Armin, or Mikasa — be different? Somewhere along the way, Eren forgot that most of them are almost as stubborn as he is. They'd never have survived if they weren't.
this whole thread is a MONSTER of emotions
There are things that Eren has convinced himself are true that are too subjective. Whether he really needed all of them to hate him is one of them. Was there really no other path? He'll swear up and down there wasn't, but they'll never know now.
He's a little surprised by Levi's agreement. Levi isn't the most forthcoming, though he isn't dishonest the way Eren too often is. Maybe they owe it to each other to try to say things more often than they did. Eren will never believe the outcome could change, but he's said over and over that he wants to be different here. He means that. It's a slow journey, but it's something he's worked on.
"I'm the same as I've always been," he says, a hollow old thing he clings to. He's convinced himself that he's been the same since birth, but that's nonsense. No one, not even Eren with all of his issues with and mastery(?) of time, is static. And Levi didn't say he'd changed. It's just hard for him to imagine he's better here, even if he wants to be.
"But we don't have to be the same in this world. I know that."
At least he doesn't take Levi's faith in him for granted. He doesn't take any of their support for granted now. He might finally be realising that nothing he does will ever sever ties all the way. He can do irreparable damage, but it's not like he stopped caring about Reiner the day he found out about him and Bertholdt. It's a lot more complicated than that. Why should Levi — or Jean, or Armin, or Mikasa — be different? Somewhere along the way, Eren forgot that most of them are almost as stubborn as he is. They'd never have survived if they weren't.