In some distant time and place, they are barely more than children, and Reiner is handing Eren a wooden knife. This time you be the bad guy, he is saying, their camaraderie unshakable.
In another distant time and place, he is on his knees with tears in his eyes, pleading for Eren to kill him. Seeking mercy where there is none.
In this place, not so long ago, he is showing Eren the most fragile parts of himself, tracing a map to the things that would hurt the most. He is giving Eren weapon after weapon, all blades pointed at himself.
Here and now, Reiner has just done the same.
Eren stares up at him, eyes wide and unguarded, so beautiful it makes Reiner's chest ache. (Or maybe his chest aches because his heart is pounding so hard, a thump thump thump thump like Titans charging.) Eren opens his mouth. Closes it. And Reiner knows he fucked this up. He picked the wrong time, or the wrong words, or something.
Should he have stayed silent? No; Eren needed to know. Even if it's Reiner who loves him, Eren needed to know. And now he does.
The cold, familiar shame of rejection begins crawling up Reiner's spine. (He's never enough. Never.) What did he expect? He knew Eren wouldn't feel the same way. He knew the possible consequences. And now, he has to live with them.
Eren moves, setting the lanterns down. The lanterns, for fuck's sake. The lanterns Reiner assumes are for Eren's parents; for the mother that Reiner is responsible for killing. His timing really is horseshit.
He doesn't know what he expects next. But Eren reaching forward, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together, isn't it.
It feels just like it always does: perfect. Eren's fingers sit between Reiner's own as if they were always meant to be there. Too smooth, too hot, utterly perfect.
Then Eren speaks, his voice filled with emotion, and he says the very words that Reiner knows in his heart he won't hear.
I'm in love with you too.
Something shifts inside of Reiner, so powerful it's painful. Like a river finally breaking through a dam, or a bone set into place. Something that was wrong and is finally right.
Reiner releases a shaky breath, not knowing how long he was holding it. He wants to say something. He wants to say everything. He tries, lips parted, his free hand reaching up to caress Eren's cheek, thumb stroking where Titan marks would be.
Before Reiner can manage to form any words, he moves, leaning in to press his lips to Eren's, his kiss saying the words again: I'm in love with you.
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In another distant time and place, he is on his knees with tears in his eyes, pleading for Eren to kill him. Seeking mercy where there is none.
In this place, not so long ago, he is showing Eren the most fragile parts of himself, tracing a map to the things that would hurt the most. He is giving Eren weapon after weapon, all blades pointed at himself.
Here and now, Reiner has just done the same.
Eren stares up at him, eyes wide and unguarded, so beautiful it makes Reiner's chest ache. (Or maybe his chest aches because his heart is pounding so hard, a thump thump thump thump like Titans charging.) Eren opens his mouth. Closes it. And Reiner knows he fucked this up. He picked the wrong time, or the wrong words, or something.
Should he have stayed silent? No; Eren needed to know. Even if it's Reiner who loves him, Eren needed to know. And now he does.
The cold, familiar shame of rejection begins crawling up Reiner's spine. (He's never enough. Never.) What did he expect? He knew Eren wouldn't feel the same way. He knew the possible consequences. And now, he has to live with them.
Eren moves, setting the lanterns down. The lanterns, for fuck's sake. The lanterns Reiner assumes are for Eren's parents; for the mother that Reiner is responsible for killing. His timing really is horseshit.
He doesn't know what he expects next. But Eren reaching forward, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together, isn't it.
It feels just like it always does: perfect. Eren's fingers sit between Reiner's own as if they were always meant to be there. Too smooth, too hot, utterly perfect.
Then Eren speaks, his voice filled with emotion, and he says the very words that Reiner knows in his heart he won't hear.
I'm in love with you too.
Something shifts inside of Reiner, so powerful it's painful. Like a river finally breaking through a dam, or a bone set into place. Something that was wrong and is finally right.
Reiner releases a shaky breath, not knowing how long he was holding it. He wants to say something. He wants to say everything. He tries, lips parted, his free hand reaching up to caress Eren's cheek, thumb stroking where Titan marks would be.
Before Reiner can manage to form any words, he moves, leaning in to press his lips to Eren's, his kiss saying the words again: I'm in love with you.