dreamsofwings: (07)
Eren Jaeger ([personal profile] dreamsofwings) wrote in [community profile] seasonsgreetings 2023-06-19 01:14 pm (UTC)

For all of his teasing, it doesn't once occur to Eren that Reiner would so much as touch him here in front of anyone. Some messed up sense of propriety, he thinks, though not on his part. He doesn't give a shit. He just imagines Reiner does, since Reiner seems to somehow care about their positions still. He saw that whole network post, after all, that facade Reiner has of being an open, earnest soldier.

What bullshit. It was always bullshit, wasn't it? Eren isn't entirely sure what goes on in Reiner's head, the way he fractures into pieces that he presents to people differently. He just knows the ways they are the same, their circumstances, some of their desires and responses to things.

Eren just has never once cared about propriety or appearances, and he has even less reason to care here.

But he can't call everything correctly. He should have learned that already, considering how wrong he was when he baited Reiner in the rain and ended up with lips on his skin instead of a fist in his face. Now he'd take either one, he just...cannot even imagine it happening here. Blind spots, Eren.

When he looks at Reiner at the food counter, he does note that expression, the redness in the tips of his ears. That smirk comes back, this time unbidden. Does he really have such an effect? Well, they are enemies, after all. Eren can't quite see them that way as much as he probably should; he's good at thinking of this place as different. The stakes have changed. They're not at war with each other.

Neither one of them can ever be forgiven, so what's the difference anyway?

He also orders something with meat, because even after a year of not being at home, meat feels like the biggest luxury to just have whenever you want! Who wouldn't want to eat this all the time?

Obviously he has no idea how to eat with chopsticks (maybe Nagi will teach him someday) so he's busy mixing some of his bowl around with a fork when Reiner just immediately starts speaking to him.

He doesn't answer right away, not because he can't, but because he's Eren. If he can keep this on his own terms, he will. He doesn't hold every card like he might back home, but he sure as hell knows a lot more than Reiner does about the future, about this place, about travelling between worlds. He's aware it could be a precarious place to be, and even a precarious thing. Telling people the future can fuck them up (he should know!) and he doesn't really want to push too far. At least not today.

But the best laid plans, etc.

He takes a bite, slow because it's hot, swallows, looks up, brushes a stray piece of hair out of his eyes.

"Yeah. You still think I'm just waiting to fight you? I'm really not. This isn't a setup or anything. You should know that. I just want…" He looks off for a second, trying to set himself right in time, trying to think of how to do this. He's not actually calculating enough to get everything right, after all. "I wanna know what happened right before you came here. The last thing you remember. It was years ago for me, obviously."

Obviously!

"But if we're more on the same page, maybe you won't be so tense just looking at me."

As if he's unaware that he's caused some of that tension on purpose. As if he won't keep doing that. As if he's not thrumming with the same mix of emotions as well, desire/anger/violence/regret.

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