castaside: happy, soft, sad (293)
Six-Eared Macaque ([personal profile] castaside) wrote in [community profile] seasonsgreetings 2023-10-23 08:08 pm (UTC)

It's not whether I think it counts that matters.

[ But it answers enough of his question. ]

Falling in love is easy. [ So, so easy. ] Being in love can be hard. Harder than you ever thought it could be. Not all the time, hopefully, or it wouldn't be worth it, but.

When things are hard it can make you behave in ways that just don't seem reasonable. Clearing the air sounds nice while I'm here talking to you. Why wouldn't I do it? With him standing there, every good and bad memory yanking me in all directions and fogging over my rational thinking, clearing the air sounds like the unreasonable thing.

I want to talk to him, I want to scream at him. Kiss him, punch him. Help him, hurt him. I want him to understand why I'm so hurt and I want to hide it.

Maybe none of this makes sense, but that's sort of the point.

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