offeredhearts: (ways we accept as part of fate's decree)
Commander Erwin Smith ([personal profile] offeredhearts) wrote in [community profile] seasonsgreetings 2023-10-31 04:03 pm (UTC)

There are so many things he knows and doesn't know. Things that he's witnessed but not felt, and seeing Hange here and remembering what he's seen but not having any emotions to go with it until now borders on overwhelming. It aches, a burning sorrow in his chest because like so many others before them, Hange not only bore scars on his behalf, but gave their life in ultimate sacrifice. One more heart, offered on the pyre of his ambitions and their consequences.

The mask cracks a little, a vulnerability he's rarely shown to anyone other than Levi seeping through as that smile turns faintly pained before that arm is slung around him. Erwin returns it by loosely looping his arm around their back and here again, the physical reality is so sharply different than the last several years (years, not months or decades, but some amount of time, that didn't matter to the dead). He does chuckle again instead, the ache lessening without dissipating, and even leans in a little for them to inspect.

"To be perfectly honest, it's a mystery to me as well." Truthfully, he certainly has his own share of gray hairs, but they managed to blend in well with the blonde.

"I'll hear anything you want to tell me, Hange," he affirms more quietly a moment later. "I'm sorry, I left you in such a difficult position. You did well."

There was never going to be a good time for him to die and command to pass to them, but neither of them could have ever imagined such a total and devastating loss of their forces.

"...I hope one day...you can forgive me."

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