It was real, he realizes. It had been real. Every last one of them... had no regrets about what became of the hearts they offered. He feels like he's choking.
Every decision he had made after they left the walls, he had tried to do right by them with. It was hard, sometimes. So, so hard. At points, it would have been easier to succumb to vengeance or numbness or to simply give up, but he'd trudged on, haunted by all the promises he had to keep, the wings he had to put to rest before he could ever rest himself.
And he managed it. He'd actually managed it. He'd done right by them.
He'd perhaps even proven that Erwin did not make a mistake after all, in putting his trust in him, in painting Levi's wings his colors.
He opens his mouth, and closes it again, unsure how to begin, or whether he even needs to say anything.
"I tried," he admits, quiet, one hand landing on the one touching him and squeezing like he needs something to hold onto not to break apart, "but I never knew if I made the right choices." If I wasn't a disappointment. "...Thank you."
There's a slightly damp trail on his cheek glinting in the dim light of the pub as his face gets coaxed up, though it doesn't look like anything more are following, even if his grip is maybe somewhat painful. This whole thing is too much, even considering that he'd been saluted by all of his friends and comrades, and then there goes Erwin, fucking kneeling in front of him again, as if he's passing him the bloodied crown of thorns and sunshine.
Perhaps he already has. Perhaps he never should. Levi gladly shared as many of his burdens as he was willing to give him, but in this place, perhaps there would be less of those for them both. His lips press tight before his face relaxes somewhat, returning to that usual, more blank slate as his hand finally loosens and slips down to Erwin's elbow, gently nudging him up.
"Erwin... Stop flaunting your knees every chance you get if you wanna keep them," he says, and his voice still betrays him a little, but if it means Erwin understands the rest of what was left unsaid from that, then so be it. Levi was never ashamed of his feelings, even if he seldom could afford to spare any moments for it. Old habits die hard, but... perhaps, every day it will get a little easier.
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Every decision he had made after they left the walls, he had tried to do right by them with. It was hard, sometimes. So, so hard. At points, it would have been easier to succumb to vengeance or numbness or to simply give up, but he'd trudged on, haunted by all the promises he had to keep, the wings he had to put to rest before he could ever rest himself.
And he managed it. He'd actually managed it. He'd done right by them.
He'd perhaps even proven that Erwin did not make a mistake after all, in putting his trust in him, in painting Levi's wings his colors.
He opens his mouth, and closes it again, unsure how to begin, or whether he even needs to say anything.
"I tried," he admits, quiet, one hand landing on the one touching him and squeezing like he needs something to hold onto not to break apart, "but I never knew if I made the right choices." If I wasn't a disappointment. "...Thank you."
There's a slightly damp trail on his cheek glinting in the dim light of the pub as his face gets coaxed up, though it doesn't look like anything more are following, even if his grip is maybe somewhat painful. This whole thing is too much, even considering that he'd been saluted by all of his friends and comrades, and then there goes Erwin, fucking kneeling in front of him again, as if he's passing him the bloodied crown of thorns and sunshine.
Perhaps he already has. Perhaps he never should. Levi gladly shared as many of his burdens as he was willing to give him, but in this place, perhaps there would be less of those for them both. His lips press tight before his face relaxes somewhat, returning to that usual, more blank slate as his hand finally loosens and slips down to Erwin's elbow, gently nudging him up.
"Erwin... Stop flaunting your knees every chance you get if you wanna keep them," he says, and his voice still betrays him a little, but if it means Erwin understands the rest of what was left unsaid from that, then so be it. Levi was never ashamed of his feelings, even if he seldom could afford to spare any moments for it. Old habits die hard, but... perhaps, every day it will get a little easier.