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seasonsgreetings2023-10-13 12:35 am
seasonsmods) wrote in seasonsgreetings2023-10-13 12:35 am
Entry tags:
Test Drive Meme #5
Test Drive Meme #5
LOGS | NETWORK | OOC | MEMES | NAVIGATION
You arrive in an unknown space, dressed in white clothes (player choice what kind of clothes, as long as they cover everything). Whatever was happening to you before no longer happens. It's like everything was put on a pause and you were transferred away from the situation without you realizing it happened.
The space that you find yourself in is one of these four options:
An empty landscape filled with snow and ice, almost like a blank canvas.
A field with cherry blossom trees and spring flowers.
A sunny beach near an ocean that seems never ending.
A quiet forest with falling autumn leaves.
All of the spaces seem to continue endlessly. No matter where or how far you walk it almost seems like you're not moving at all. There are no animals here - just those who happened to wake up there at the same time, in the same place. Everyone is wearing the same kind of plain, white clothes.
Despite the possible rollercoaster of emotions you might be feeling, the place somehow feels familiar. Like somehow you belong there.
And it looks like you're not alone.
After half an hour has passed the surroundings change as everyone is teleported into a room with all the other new arrivals, no matter what space they woke up in. It's a large place with plenty of seats to sit in and beverages to enjoy. Medical attention is offered to those who need it and the doctors here are very prepared for any challenging situations.
Here, in this room, everyone gets an answer to where they are and why. A hologram of a man appears at the center of the room, waiting to be heard. He brings a message on behalf of the leaders of Ellipsa.
The Message [ Click to Expand ]
Hello, my name is Olwen. I'm one of the leaders of Ellipsa as it currently is. I'm also one of the four who summoned you here.
Our world is in trouble and we need your help. I apologize for tearing you away from your world and forcing you to come here but I hope you understand. The magic we used doesn't let us ask in advance, nor does it let us choose who we bring here.
This world is composed of four Seasonal Segments. All of them represent one of the seasons. They were the places we used to get our resources from, but now they're dangerous places no one should go into unless they have the power to fight back. All of them have their own sets of powerful monsters and natural catastrophes.
We used to have plenty of people here who could control the powers of the four Seasons. We called them Seasonal Power Holders. Unfortunately, due to a tragedy you can read about later, we lost almost all of them. Now only four of us remain and the world is in chaos. We have done our best to protect the world, but we need more power holders to do that.
That's where you come in.
All of you have been assigned to one of the seasons. Whatever space you were in just now is what season you represent. You will learn different skills based on the season and those skills are going to help you save this world.
These powers don't interfere with your own natural powers. They use a new energy that has formed inside of you. It's harmless to your health, but it's vital to your seasonal powers. Your own powers should still work, even if the dark energy outside the city might interfere with them.
Unfortunately bringing you here wasn't as simple as it sounds. We couldn't do anything about how to keep you anchored to this world other than making a simple spell that helps with it. That is, you need to touch someone else who is not from this world ideally at least once a day. It will help you stay in control of your powers and boost your magical energy. If you don't, the consequences aren't very good. But as long as you hold someone's hand or give someone a handshake, you should be fine.
That's all I have to say about the situation. The staff of the Research Center will give you more information about housing and other necessary things. I will, however, promise that you will be sent home once the situation becomes better. That's the least we can do.
The hologram can be viewed in private in a separate room later, should someone wish to look at it again. For now, the staff of the Research Center hands everyone their new smartphones with their small flower lucky charms (the flower is anything the player decides). They're also told that the building next door is where everyone can find a room assigned to them with some of their belongings there and possibly even any animal companions. Those concerned about their mount-sizes companions are welcomed to the stables downstairs to see if their friends are there. The mounts are allowed to stay there until you find a place more suitable for them.
In the Arrival's hall there are also several stands with information pamphlets.
First type of stand is for the local Guilds and about the benefits or joining one.
Second type of stands is for the Welcome Center that aim to show otherworlders what the world is like and help guide people in the beginning of the journey and helps in getting settled into the new world. They even have people to help if you're unfamiliar with the new phones.
Third type of the stands is for The In Touch Support Group that is led by the Otherwordly Ambassador, Kamisato Ayato. The pamphlets have contact information for businesses looking to help Otherworlders. They also focus more on the lore of the World and what they have discovered so far, as well as a guide on what to think about when preparing to venture out to the Segments.
Once you get your smartphone and necessary information, you're urged to go out and find your apartment. After that whatever you want to do is up to you.
Part 3
The building next door is where everyone can find their new apartments. As you enter, you're told by a friendly native that for the first two months you can live anywhere rent-free and five meals a day are paid for you. After that they get a monthly payment that helps with some of their living expenses, but otherwise they have to have a job to support themselves.
All of the apartments are comfortable, two bedroom apartments with all necessary utilities. They are also completely soundproof. Sometimes the magic system, however, does glitch and you might find yourself rooming with a stranger. This is not the intention and the staff will immediately prepare you your own room if you ask them. But maybe having a roommate isn't all that bad?
In the Arrival's hall there are also several stands with information pamphlets.
First type of stand is for the local Guilds and about the benefits or joining one.
Second type of stands is for the Welcome Center that aim to show otherworlders what the world is like and help guide people in the beginning of the journey and helps in getting settled into the new world. They even have people to help if you're unfamiliar with the new phones.
Third type of the stands is for The In Touch Support Group that is led by the Otherwordly Ambassador, Kamisato Ayato. The pamphlets have contact information for businesses looking to help Otherworlders. They also focus more on the lore of the World and what they have discovered so far, as well as a guide on what to think about when preparing to venture out to the Segments.
Once you get your smartphone and necessary information, you're urged to go out and find your apartment. After that whatever you want to do is up to you.
The building next door is where everyone can find their new apartments. As you enter, you're told by a friendly native that for the first two months you can live anywhere rent-free and five meals a day are paid for you. After that they get a monthly payment that helps with some of their living expenses, but otherwise they have to have a job to support themselves.
All of the apartments are comfortable, two bedroom apartments with all necessary utilities. They are also completely soundproof. Sometimes the magic system, however, does glitch and you might find yourself rooming with a stranger. This is not the intention and the staff will immediately prepare you your own room if you ask them. But maybe having a roommate isn't all that bad?
All throughout the city, a festival is taking place. It's the festival to honor the dead. The areas are decorated with aesthetically appropriate lights and different flowers. Upon a closer look it becomes clear that all the flowers are bundles of flowers, based on the otherworlders' flower charms. Where a characters' flower is depends on their Season, but all of the appear in the Nightwake Center district.
The main part of the festivities is to light candles in various places. There are even floating lanterns, that can be either launched to the skies or put on surfaces of water. Those who have lost (= to death) someone at any point in their life will receive a message from them in their dreams and otherwise pleasant dreams about them if they light up a candle during the festivities.
Those who have died before (back in their world or on Ellipsa) will receive a protective light around them if they light up a candle. This light will also let the natives know to treat them with kindness and respect during the festivities. They will even receive special bonuses at some of the shops and restaurants, like discounts or extra items. The light itself will decrease any damage done to them for the rest of the month. The light will dim "when needed", but even as it's not easily noticeable, it will continue to protect.
Characters may receive both of these effects.
The second part of the festivities involves making small ghosts made out of paper or cloth. These crafts are for the local ghosts to possess so they can be seen by everyone. Once the ghosts have possessed the crafts they will hover around the place, experiencing the festivities better than in their ethereal form. Only ghosts that wish to move on to the afterlife will possess the crafts.
Some of the ghosts gather at the Blossomcrown Park where magical crests have been set on various tables there. These ghosts are those who have been waiting for this moment to pass onto afterlife. Everyone visiting the bonfire will be given a special flower wreath. The goal is to wait for one of the ghosts to move and take hold of the wreath (literally holding onto it with their craft ghost forms) before placing it on the crests together with another person. This will help the ghosts to cross the border into afterlife. The wreath disappears after the ghost has passed on. This ritual can only be done at this time of the year, as the air is filled with a mysterious essence that helps with passing on. The scientists have yet to properly determine what the essence truly is, but it seems to concentrate on the park and at least it's not dangerous for the living.
The park also has some places to just sit down and enjoy the atmosphere at the park. There are also some food and drink stalls.
The final part of the festivities is the multi-day Costume Party Masquerade happening in the largest airship of the city. The ship circles around the whole city of Nightwake, occasionally stopping at the dock and taking new passengers (or letting old ones out) before continuing on again. The airship is special, as it has a giant ballroom in the middle. There are also cabins, some more private and some more communal for those who just want a quick place to crash rather than a proper room.
Everyone who boards the airship must wear some sort of a mask, but they also have to be in a costume of some sort. Those who don't have either or both will be guided to a dressing room where the magic will pick them whatever they are missing at random (= of player's choosing) and dress them (their current clothes will be waiting for them at the airship station later). No one escapes the rule of a costume and a mask around here!
A magic is also applied to everyone's mask, making it harder for anyone to recognize the person wearing it (possibly even those who know them very well). This is said to add some level of mystery to the evening. Of course the spell will pause whenever someone takes off their mask and that may reveal a secret to someone. No one will just automatically forget if they saw someone take off their mask.
The music encourages people to dance and be brave in asking a stranger to dance with them. Thanks to the atmosphere of the masquerade, touch energy will feel even better than usual, even if you'd be "fully loaded".
Another sort of magic sneaks into the party, as people's costumes start to take over their personalities. Someone dressed up as a king might start acting all regal, while a vampire look-a-like might try to bite someone in their neck. Some might even lose the sight of who they really are and completely take on their new roles for the time they're in the airship and in the costume.
Fairies will start trying to bomb people gone weird with water balloons, as a splash of water on their faces will wake them up from the trance (even if the said person is wearing a mask). They're even teleporting water balloons for others to toss - especially if it looks like someone is acting a bit too dangerously.
Another way is to strip them out of their clothes, but that might be something reserved for the privacy of a cabin, rather than the ballroom.
Even once someone has been freed from the spell they can unfortunately be spellbound again later on - but it's just less likely.
- Ask your questions related to the TDM here.
- The TDM is available only to friends of the mods and their friends. If you want to play in the TDM, please leave a note here to inform us who invited you over. We will get to you as soon as possible.
- Test Drive is open for current characters to make a top level as well. New characters can add TDM on their subject line to indicate they're new!
- Current characters cannot access the starting area again to meet new arrivals. They can, however, be at the Research Center when the newbies are teleported in.
- The TDM is game canon so anything in the TDM can happen for your character(s) in the game as well.
- Smut is not allowed on the TDM. You can play situations leading to it, but if the thread is turning into smut, please move it to a private space such a post in your character's journal, or a locked post in the game's log community if you decide to app!
- Check Locations: City to find more areas to explore inside the city. Every place in the districts are open.
- Similarly, Locations: Segments is useful for outdoors adventures.
- You can find monsters to encounter on Beastiary.
- FAQ has information on characters' smartphones as well as general things about the world that might be handy.
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"Huh," Levi says as he pictures it, except he's not thinking of the unknown seasonal location but back home, red and orange hues drowning the city, rustling under his boots and sinking into the cemetery soil. Absent-mindedly, he's drawing a little circle into Erwin's hand with his thumb. He's still there, still present. "I guess that fits."
"Like you said, it's autumn. It's connected to the earth element."
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"Does it? What makes you say that?" Erwin can't help but be curious about what Levi means there, noticing the almost distant look on his face.
"I see - so that informs the sort of magic I can learn." He remembers something about that from earlier that day, after their arrival.
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The scent of damp soil. We finally brought you home during fall.
"Just a feeling I have," Levi says, glancing down at the table. He's not sure how to say any of that with words, how to explain the hole Erwin had left in their lives. Maybe -- maybe they could ask for another test with those metal titans, let him just pour the entirety of his feelings into Erwin and let him figure out the rest.
They're finally noticed by the barkeep, and Levi quickly mumbles their order of tea before they retreat again. Then he's turning to watch Erwin again, his one good eye trailing carefully over his features.
"That's right," he says, and adds a little more brightly, "I might know someone who could show you the ropes. She's busy for a couple more weeks, but after that. If you'd like."
no subject
After a beat, he carefully curls his fingers around Levi's hand once more and gentle cradles them together, quietly acknowledging. A warmth seems to flow between them, power flowing palm to palm, and in its own way, it's soothing.
Erwin doesn't ask him to explain further.
He still doesn't let go as the barkeep comes and takes their order, but as always is content to let Levi slip away whenever he needs. Erwin gazes back at him, his memory filling in the missing eye as he smiles a little.
"I would," he answers, voice low and warm. "I'll take all the help I can get."
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He's not sure how to take Erwin's gesture, that soothing hold on his fingers, but he'll do his best to return it, them both holding onto each other a little tighter.
It seems he understands. Levi would expect nothing less.
"Good. I think you'll get along," Levi says, clearly a little happier with the topic change. He almost starts talking up Gabi when he realizes Erwin still has no idea who she is, probably only remembers Reiner as an enemy agent too. "Right, I should... tell you what happened. It's a long story though, and I'd rather show you to Hange first."
Partly because he'll never hear the end of it otherwise, but he also knows that they had missed him, too. He would know; after all, it was the two of them for four long years after that.
There's a tea tray being placed on their table, and Levi pulls it closer, glancing inside the kettle for a moment to determine if it's steeped enough, and then pouring two small cups, pushing one toward Erwin.
"They talked about touch energy at the briefing, right?"
no subject
Erwin is reluctant to let go - their prolonged touch is comforting in a way that is both new and familiar, but unfortunately whatever powers that exist here didn't see fit to return his right arm to him, and so he releases Levi's hand to reach for the tea once it's been poured. He raises the cup to his lips, inhaling the scent before taking a sip, and it smells better, tastes better than he remembers - every sense seems just a little bit sharper after so long a ghost.
"Mm," he returns the cup to its saucer with a gentle clink. "Yes, they did. Is that what we've been feeling?"
Surely not just that...but Erwin would rather know if that is the case.
no subject
He seems to notice that reluctance and shifts a little closer, allowing their legs to touch casually under the table. It's not much, but it's contact, and he hopes Erwin finds some comfort in it.
"Some of it, at least," Levi tells his cup, but doesn't move his knee away. The magic may contribute to that rush of energy that follows the touches, but the relief, the happiness, that has to be all them, right? Because he never thought this would be possible, because he cleaned Erwin's bones and put them in the ground, and yet here he was, sitting next to him, alive and whole -- one arm here or there.
"The magic here, it runs on touch. So you want plenty of that if you wanna use it. But not just that. If you don't touch anyone, it takes about a week for you to turn to stone."
"In other words, no going off into the segments alone," he adds, because making it about missions somehow feels safer, closer to home.
no subject
There's the faintest widening of his eyes as he feels Levi's knee come to rest companionably against him. Erwin hadn't expected that...at all, really. Of course they've touched each other at home on occasion; Erwin's hand on Levi's shoulder, a brief, fleeting touch to his back, a brush of fingers as they exchange stacks of paperwork. Carriage rides necessarily meant that their legs had touched, and Erwin distinctly remembers one where they'd traveled to Stohess ahead of their mission to capture the Female Titan, with Levi's injured ankle elevated carefully in his lap.
Which is to say: it's very comforting, to know that he seems to want to keep this fleeting connection together for as long as possible, too.
Erwin is about to ask in what sort of conditions one could be far enough from another person for so long for that to be worrisome, but Levi answers it easily enough.
"I see." He only just manages to resist the urge to brush his leg more intentionally against Levi's. "How do you know when you have enough touch to use your magic?"
Erwin looks closely at Levi, watching his expressions carefully. "Are they that dangerous?"
no subject
Levi's actually not entirely correct in his explanation; the touch and the magic energy are technically separate, even if they feed off each other, and one could safely run out of the latter without becoming a statue, but he's going off his own limited experience.
"You just know, I guess. You feel tired when you're low. Some rest helps, too, in that case."
He's a little uncertain of the scrutiny, whether Erwin's merely trying to gauge the risks of this world, or if he's doing something pointless like worrying about Levi.
"It varies. It's not as dangerous as anything we did back home, that's for sure. Doesn't mean it's always a walk in the park. The mission requests usually asses the risk levels pretty well."
He'd tell Erwin to just not sign up for anything that says dangerous on the briefing, but that would probably be a lost cause, wouldn't it?
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As for the scrutiny: a little of column A, a little of column B; he wants to know the risks, and he wants to know what Levi thinks of them, what his experience with it all is. It's obvious, of course, that he can't move the way that he used to; that in and of itself has to be and adjustment, one that Erwin can well sympathize with. He hopes that Levi isn't pushing himself, even so. And while Erwin couldn't promise that he'll stay entirely away from briefs that indicate danger, it's unlikely that he's going to be jumping into them head first.
Erwin makes a little hum of acknowledgment, raising his cup to his lips again. They're in a quiet little bar, but he can almost imagine them sitting together in his quarters late at night like they used to, discussing the day or what's to come. They'd shared one last time such as this the night before Shiganshina, although there had been an unusual undercurrent of tension between them in the wake of him revealing is true goal and purpose to Levi hours earlier.
It's a wonderful relief, that it won't have been truly their last.
"Have you been on many of these missions so far?"
no subject
His movement may be impaired, but he thinks it's actually less noticeable in the air. Sure, even with the brace, he tends to favor his right leg more to support his weight now, and it can sometimes slow him down when he's moving in the opposite direction, but not badly enough that he's not still an absolute menace with the 3DMG.
Unfortunately, he has been pushing himself especially when he had just arrived and had to get around with a crutch. He had been... in mourning, still, and a bit in denial, and perhaps just desperate to prove that he wasn't going to be a burden. Some verbal smackdowns from the kids, and later Hange, evened him out a bit. Now he takes it easier, though whether or not he already caused some more damage was a question left unanswered. He's managed to accept his new limitations and work around them, as always.
This, though? This almost feels like they're back to their old selves, even if both of them are missing some pieces.
"I have," he confirms. He'd also once embarked on over a week-long quest having only left a note for Eren and Hange, and ended up quite chewed out over it, but he'll leave that part out for now. Maybe one of them will snitch on him, though. That seems to be happening a lot lately. "It pays well, and it gives me something useful to do."
Something that helps the people here, more importantly. After all, that was why they were brought here, right? Levi wasn't going to give them any pretext to send any of them back for slacking if he had a say in it, not that he wouldn't do the same either way. He couldn't just leave anyone suffering if he had the means to change it.
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"Is that so? I'm glad." And he is - Erwin can't imagine Levi sitting around when there were opportunities to help, no matter how small. The word useful doesn't go unnoticed, either. He could never be useless, but Erwin well understands the need to do something, even if he doesn't have any desire to be a Commander any longer - sitting still was never something either of them would adapt to easily.
"I'd like to go with you on one sometime." A beat, the corner of his lips twitching, well remembering Levi's threat the night before they left. "If you'll allow it."
no subject
It's probably very familiar to Erwin, Levi's innate need to be useful, so deep ingrained that he's not even aware of it most times. But perhaps, to some extent, it had been driving him for a long time, and perhaps, it still is. Do well so that you're not abandoned again. Do well so that you're not a disappointment. Do well so that you won't be sent back.
Levi looks Erwin over critically. There are certainly some tasks that he wouldn't take an injured soldier on (the irony, considering his own state), but there's plenty every month that are harmless or even entertaining. And, of course, if Erwin does end up going regardless, Levi would rather be there with him than not.
"Fine by me," he finally says.
no subject
He takes the critical look, hardly any different from the last time Levi saw him healthy, albeit missing an arm. Perhaps he could find a way to remedy that, here.
The talk a while more, ordering more tea as needed, their legs still resting against one another under the table. Erwin can't find a convenient excuse to reach out and touch him again, though the desire is there. He listens as Levi tells him of the things that happened after his death, nodding quietly or making soft, attentive sounds. He studies the subtle changes in his expression, the movement of his lips, the shifts in his eyes. The damaged right one is becoming less and less strange, the scar running the length of his face less jarring. Many things are different, but so many more are the same, and he is still wonderfully, beautifully, Levi.
As he comes to the end of his story, Erwin is silent for a few moments, holding all of it in his heart. It ached, to know what they had suffered. To have finally found the truth, the edge of the walls and the shores of their island, only to find the whole world against them. Erwin doesn't waste time dwelling on what he would have done; it wouldn't make any difference against what had actually happened. The horror of their home turning against them in militant regime turns his stomach. But at least some of them had survived.
And Levi...
Erwin remembers seeing him there, at the end. Alone, amidst the tearful reunions of the others with their loved ones. At the time, it had been little more than memory, without real feeling, unable to show that he had been really there. He is thankful, grateful, that he'd been given the opportunity to really acknowledge his sacrifices.
That it was enough.
"...I was there," he says quietly. "In that moment, and in others. We all were, watching over you. Just beyond the veil."
no subject
He doesn't say what he saw next, in that final fleeting moment before ending up here. But even so, it seems Erwin understands him without words once again, despite having never lived to see it and -- oh.
For a moment, he's back there, beaten down and bleeding out and alone in the world, except he's not, because they still saved many people, and because his comrades stand around him, their watch finally completed, their deaths and dreams carried through like a torch until the end they all paid the ultimate price for.
Levi's mouth twitches, and his head drops lower, hiding his good eye behind a curtain of hair. He's not sure if he wants to blink away the ache or just let it go like he did back there.
"You're not shitting me, are you?" he manages, but his voice sounds a bit rougher now, a bit broken up. To think that it wasn't just his (possibly) dying brain playing tricks on him, that they actually got to see where their hearts ended up -- that Erwin got to see where Levi's did. "It wasn't just our wishful thinking?"
Everyone's, until the Survey Corps got all but wiped out, with Erwin using it to inspire everyone for that final gamble, landing the weight on the bloodied wings on Levi's back one more time. His and Hange's, after that, hoping that they had made the right choices. And then just his, since leaving his last friend behind to die.
Keep watching.
no subject
"No," he replies tenderly, and shifts from his chair, unable to stay separated even by a table. Erwin reaches for Levi, his one hand gently settles on his shoulder as he drops to one knee on the floor. "We could see you."
They had witnessed that final struggle, carried by those wings, by the strength of his battered heart and body. The weight of hundreds of souls that had nearly broken him. They had seen it, and Levi had brought the peace.
He tries to catch Levi's gaze, carefully searching underneath that fall of dark hair in the dim light. If unsuccessful, Erwin will gently touch the crook of one finger under his chin until their eyes meet. There's an ache in his own, open and bare and raw, because he wishes so very much for Levi to see that it is true. That there truly is no more burden for him to carry, and Erwin will say it as many times over in as many ways as he needs to.
"You made us proud, Levi. And you set us free."
no subject
Every decision he had made after they left the walls, he had tried to do right by them with. It was hard, sometimes. So, so hard. At points, it would have been easier to succumb to vengeance or numbness or to simply give up, but he'd trudged on, haunted by all the promises he had to keep, the wings he had to put to rest before he could ever rest himself.
And he managed it. He'd actually managed it. He'd done right by them.
He'd perhaps even proven that Erwin did not make a mistake after all, in putting his trust in him, in painting Levi's wings his colors.
He opens his mouth, and closes it again, unsure how to begin, or whether he even needs to say anything.
"I tried," he admits, quiet, one hand landing on the one touching him and squeezing like he needs something to hold onto not to break apart, "but I never knew if I made the right choices." If I wasn't a disappointment. "...Thank you."
There's a slightly damp trail on his cheek glinting in the dim light of the pub as his face gets coaxed up, though it doesn't look like anything more are following, even if his grip is maybe somewhat painful. This whole thing is too much, even considering that he'd been saluted by all of his friends and comrades, and then there goes Erwin, fucking kneeling in front of him again, as if he's passing him the bloodied crown of thorns and sunshine.
Perhaps he already has. Perhaps he never should. Levi gladly shared as many of his burdens as he was willing to give him, but in this place, perhaps there would be less of those for them both. His lips press tight before his face relaxes somewhat, returning to that usual, more blank slate as his hand finally loosens and slips down to Erwin's elbow, gently nudging him up.
"Erwin... Stop flaunting your knees every chance you get if you wanna keep them," he says, and his voice still betrays him a little, but if it means Erwin understands the rest of what was left unsaid from that, then so be it. Levi was never ashamed of his feelings, even if he seldom could afford to spare any moments for it. Old habits die hard, but... perhaps, every day it will get a little easier.
no subject
Even if what he sees spurs him to do such things as kneel before him twice, or what he does now as he rises, sliding his arm slowly across Levi's shoulders to bring him into an embrace and press his face into dark hair. Perhaps it's too much - they're technically in public, even if it's dark and they're tucked away, and their only other embrace had been less than an hour ago.
But it's harder to hold back, he finds, when you've been dead (for years) and there's still an unmistakable fragility in Levi's voice and evidence of tears on his face. Affection was something he'd had to abandon, foregoing giving or receiving, no matter his personal inclinations if he'd wanted to survive as commander. But he'd done his duty, his soul freed by Levi and the others, and now...now they're in a place that encourages touch, and the warmth that flows between them feels so wonderfully, perfectly, good.
Erwin holds for as long as Levi allows, wishing he had his other arm even just for this moment, to fully envelop him. His hair his soft like silk against his skin, his scent clean and crisp like a winter wind, and though they've not been so close before, there's still an achingly familiar scent that's just Levi. Surreptitiously, he allows himself one final indulgence, leaving a soft, barely there press of lips to the top of his head before slowly pulling back.
"I'll flaunt them as many times as necessary," he says with a soft chuckle, returning to his seat. "But I promise to keep it to a minimum."
no subject
Wasn't that fuck with the cigarette crying earlier? Not important.He does still tense up when being pulled into a hug -- it will take longer than a few months to rework his wirings -- but he doesn't try to pull away. He knows it's supposed to be comforting, but it almost makes him feel more sad instead. He'll never get this back home, he thinks. He'll never know that he'd done them proud. He can only hope he gets to stay here indefinitely, gets to keep these memories, this absolution.
With his face pretty much buried against the other man's chest now, he allows himself the luxury of a single muffled sob -- or maybe it's just a soft gasp for air now that there had been tears in his nose a moment ago -- his other hand squeezing at the back of Erwin's jacket before his breath finally evens out.
He's not sure if he imagined that soft touch against the top of his head, but it felt just like his mother wishing him goodnight. He wonders if she'd be proud of him, too -- she probably would be regardless of whether he succeeded or not, and it's a comforting thought, even though he now has confirmation that he did.
His grip gradually loosens, but he's not in a rush to pull away, allowing that embrace probably longer than Erwin expects, though he does, eventually, lean back, still somewhat reluctant to let go. Four years... four years is a long time. But he looks mostly normal by the time they come apart -- perhaps his eyes look a little redder, his brows more tightly knit together -- but there's no doubt that despite everything that has broken in and of him, he's still very much himself.
"...you should tell Hange, too," he mutters, quickly clarifying, "...Not about your knees."
That other thing. The thing where their decisions did not let their departed friends down. The thing where they carried the true Survey Corps spirit to the end, where their ultimate sacrifice had meaning not only for the survival of the world, but for the resolution of everyone's hearts, too.
"They've always been more torn up about it than I was."
And he's a fucking mess.
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Levi said there was nothing to forgive. Hange would say the same, but it doesn't erase the guilt he feels for all that he asked of them, expected of them, put them through. He'll do what he can for both of them, so that they never have to carry that weight anymore or ever again.
Erwin holds in another apology. It is surprising how long Levi permits the embrace, but every moment feels like one long awaited. Finally settling back into his chair, Erwin gazes across the table at him gently. He's always recovered himself quickly, always had to. For all of the pain that he's carried, his spirit remains indelible.
"I will," he promises. "I could not have achieved so much without either of you, and you both carried on for so long without me. I'm grateful...and so proud of both of you."
All of them, really, but Hange and Levi had particularly carried his burden to the end.