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seasonsgreetings2023-04-14 10:33 am
seasonsmods) wrote in seasonsgreetings2023-04-14 10:33 am
Entry tags:
Test Drive Meme #2
Test Drive Meme #2
LOGS | NETWORK | OOC | MEMES | NAVIGATION
You arrive in an unknown space, dressed in white clothes (player choice what kind of clothes, as long as they cover everything). Whatever was happening to you before no longer happens. It's like everything was put on a pause and you were transferred away from the situation without you realizing it happened.
The space that you find yourself in is one of these four options:
An empty landscape filled with snow and ice, almost like a blank canvas.
A field with cherry blossom trees and spring flowers.
A sunny beach near an ocean that seems never ending.
A quiet forest with falling autumn leaves.
All of the spaces seem to continue endlessly. No matter where or how far you walk it almost seems like you're not moving at all. There are no animals here - just those who happened to wake up there at the same time, in the same place. Everyone is wearing the same kind of plain, white clothes.
Despite the possible rollercoaster of emotions you might be feeling, the place somehow feels familiar. Like somehow you belong there.
And it looks like you're not alone.
After half an hour has passed the surroundings change as everyone is teleported into a room with all the other new arrivals, no matter what space they woke up in. It's a large place with plenty of seats to sit in and beverages to enjoy. Medical attention is offered to those who need it and the doctors here are very prepared for any challenging situations.
Here, in this room, everyone gets an answer to where they are and why. A hologram of a man appears at the center of the room, waiting to be heard. He brings a message on behalf of the leaders of Ellipsa.
The Message [ Click to Expand ]
Hello, my name is Olwen. I'm one of the leaders of Ellipsa as it currently is. I'm also one of the four who summoned you here.
Our world is in trouble and we need your help. I apologize for tearing you away from your world and forcing you to come here but I hope you understand. The magic we used doesn't let us ask in advance, nor does it let us choose who we bring here.
This world is composed of four Seasonal Segments. All of them represent one of the seasons. They were the places we used to get our resources from, but now they're dangerous places no one should go into unless they have the power to fight back. All of them have their own sets of powerful monsters and natural catastrophes.
We used to have plenty of people here who could control the powers of the four Seasons. We called them Seasonal Power Holders. Unfortunately, due to a tragedy you can read about later, we lost almost all of them. Now only four of us remain and the world is in chaos. We have done our best to protect the world, but we need more power holders to do that.
That's where you come in.
All of you have been assigned to one of the seasons. Whatever space you were in just now is what season you represent. You will learn different skills based on the season and those skills are going to help you save this world.
These powers don't interfere with your own natural powers. They use a new energy that has formed inside of you. It's harmless to your health, but it's vital to your seasonal powers. Your own powers should still work, even if the dark energy outside the city might interfere with them.
Unfortunately bringing you here wasn't as simple as it sounds. We couldn't do anything about how to keep you anchored to this world other than making a simple spell that helps with it. That is, you need to touch someone else who is not from this world ideally at least once a day. It will help you stay in control of your powers and boost your magical energy. If you don't, the consequences aren't very good. But as long as you hold someone's hand or give someone a handshake, you should be fine.
That's all I have to say about the situation. The staff of the Research Center will give you more information about housing and other necessary things. I will, however, promise that you will be sent home once the situation becomes better. That's the least we can do.
The hologram can be viewed in private in a separate room later, should someone wish to look at it again. For now, the staff of the Research Center hands everyone their new smartphones with their small flower lucky charms (the flower is anything the player decides). They're also told that the building next door is where everyone can find a room assigned to them with some of their belongings there and possibly even any animal companions. Those concerned about their mount-sizes companions are welcomed to the stables downstairs to see if their friends are there. The mounts are allowed to stay there until you find a place more suitable for them.
Once you get your smartphone and necessary information, you're urged to go out and find your apartment. After that whatever you want to do is up to you.
Part 3
The building next door is where everyone can find their new apartments. As you enter, you're told by a friendly native that for the first two months you can live anywhere rent-free and five meals a day are paid for you. After that they get a monthly payment that helps with some of their living expenses, but otherwise they have to have a job to support themselves.
All of the apartments are comfortable, two bedroom apartments with all necessary utilities. They are also completely soundproof. Sometimes the magic system, however, does glitch and you might find yourself rooming with a stranger. This is not the intention and the staff will immediately prepare you your own room if you ask them. But maybe having a roommate isn't all that bad?
Once you get your smartphone and necessary information, you're urged to go out and find your apartment. After that whatever you want to do is up to you.
The building next door is where everyone can find their new apartments. As you enter, you're told by a friendly native that for the first two months you can live anywhere rent-free and five meals a day are paid for you. After that they get a monthly payment that helps with some of their living expenses, but otherwise they have to have a job to support themselves.
All of the apartments are comfortable, two bedroom apartments with all necessary utilities. They are also completely soundproof. Sometimes the magic system, however, does glitch and you might find yourself rooming with a stranger. This is not the intention and the staff will immediately prepare you your own room if you ask them. But maybe having a roommate isn't all that bad?
April is the time for a strange weather effect that affects all of the districts, save for the one in the middle and Frostreign. It's not weird that it rains, but it's what the rain does that has been dubbed as the Rain of Affection.
Anyone who stands in the rain will feel the need to get close to someone. It starts with a need to gently touch someone gently, but can escalate into needing to hug someone. The ultimate craving of the rain is kissing in the rain but that's the most it can make happen. It's a very Safe For Work Rain Effect.
After a successful kiss in the rain, the cravings slowly become less urgent, but the effect can start all over again at any given time.
Of course, there are individuals who don't get too affected by the rain (at all or not as badly) and it only works if it directly hits someone. So staying in a shelter or being in Nightwake Center or Frostreign is definitely a way to avoid this whole phenomenon. Even avoiding the worst of the effect is easy by just going under a shelter or purchasing a nice, maybe even a color changing, umbrella.
It's raining very often until the end of the month at different times in each districts.
After the rain, a rainbow usually appears. Rainbows formed by the Rain of Affection are special, wish granting ones. The natives will explain that if you hold someone's hands and make a wish that wish will come true in some capacity.
Someone wishing for wealth may win a gift card for a shop while someone wishing to see a loved one they're missing may get pictures sent to their mobile devices (how? magic). Those wishing for world peace may find their very presence be calming to others. But the biggest prize is a free regain of a non-magical item or an animal companion. If someone asks for a magical item it will come as a non-magical item and the magical part of it would have to be purchased by a magical-regain, so it's cheaper to just not.
Be careful what you wish for, as each character only gets one wish, no matter how many rainbows they end up seeing during the rainy season.
Solarpeak has a new way of battling against the hot summer days (you know, when it isn't raining). Many shops along the streets sell ice cream mochis of varying flavors. You have your very normal flavors like different berries, fruit and chocolate, but also some very excotic and weird ones.
There's even a flavor called random mystery that is literally that. A randomized flavor that is a mystery to all. It can even be a flavor that no one has thought of before or even something that definitely should not be in any kind of food. Anyone who buys a pack of two mochis will get a free mystery one if they want it (and sometimes even if they don't).
Other districts also have some treats out for different climates. There are various flavors of hot cocoa in places like Amberfall and Frostreign, and nice light treats like macarons in Blossomcrown. Of course various restaurants have their own menus that fit their own season, so you could definitely have a gourmet journey all over the city of Nightwake if you wished.
One morning, on all of the bridges leading outside into the segments, round gates appear. They're portals that bring in monsters. They look normal from the outside looking in, like portals to a lovely garden. But the gardens are the problem as they are infested with different monsters, waiting to attack the city. This isn't the first time natives have seen these portals and before they had people to deal with them, but now? They need otherworlders.
All of the monsters inside need to be defeated for the portal to disappear. No one knows exactly how many there are, but with the defeat of the last one, the portal will disappear from around anyone inside of it, leaving the characters on the bridge.
The portal can be entered from both the city and the segment side and it looks flat when looked from sideways. Like it's just a random 2D structure in the middle of the world.
Those who explore the portal further will notice that they will loop around. It's very similar to the place they started in, back when they arrived, as it doesn't seem to have an end, no matter how you explore the place.
For noncombatants, natives have set up stations to help with first aid and making food for the fighters so they can occasionally come back from the portals to take a much needed rest.
Anyone helping with the fight, either in the portals or outside, will receive a hefty 5000 Moon Coin reward for their hard work. A good way to earn some starting funds!
Monster List [ Click to Expand ]
All of the Monsters listed here will be in all of the portals and there will be several of each to fight.The danger level is indicated with Stars. The lowest level threat is 0 while the highest is 10. From 7 and above, the likelihood of a beast going for a kill increases significantly.
| Name | Description | Stars |
|---|---|---|
| Bubblefish | Bubblefish are lumbering, two-legged creatures, with fins for arms, a long, muscular, finned tail, and a big fish face. They are fast, dangerous predators while in water, but do not count them out while on land, as regardless of whether they are above water or below it, they can blow large bubbles which capture their targets. Once inside the stretchy bubble, victims begin to go numb, their body feeling like it's on pins and needles as the Dragonfish begins to cast various debuffs on them. The bubbles are tough to escape despite their appearance, but the debuffs are lesser when shared, and can be escaped with the propper application of mint or minty treats! Mint has the effect of weakening the bubble to allow it to pop, although you may then find yourself being charged as the Bubblefish goes wild trying to get that minty goodness. | 5-8 |
| Bugboars | These are really more like rhinocerous beetles, but they are the size of wild boars, and they act similarly, roaming about in family groups together, rooting through the ground to unearth any edible material. They are highly territorial, and charge at anything or anyone who gets close. Their eyesight might be poor, but they make up for it with their antennae and the fact that these massive beetles do have wings, and they possess enough control over wind to lift themselves off of the ground at great speeds, or send powerful gales at those who come too close to their young. | 6 |
| Crockodile | Crocodiles with elemental powers of earth, leading to them being able to travel through dirt and stone as if they were water, these large reptiles often hide beneath the earth with only their eyes and nostrils peeking out, resembling the stone they hide within. They are ambush predators, popping out of the ground, large stony jaws open to crush their prey, but even once dragged out of hiding they are hardly easy to defeat. These crocks are stony in appearance and their hide is just as hard to pierce. In addition, they're a little closer to the size of a small car than your average crocodile. | 6-9 |
| Flurry Flock | White birds acting like a swarm that may deceive you into thinking they are harmless doves at first. Upon closer inspection, they more closely resemble a vengeful murder of crows with pure white feathers that they can use to reflect light so brilliantly that one can be blinded, leaving the flock's victim open to attack as they descend upon their prey like a group of voracious piranhas, claws and beaks as cold as ice as they try to tear their foes apart | 3-6 |
| Lavapotamus | These large hippo-creatures seem to be either made of or covered in molten rock that hardens over time when in the air. Usually they prefer to soak in lava and be left alone. Pulled through portals in an environment far too cool for their liking and with people so nearby has them aggressive and dangerous, charging down anyone who gets too near and leaving a red-hot trail of lava in their wake. | 3-8 |
| Minosaur | This creature seems to be a horrific mash of other creatures, similar to a traditional chimera; it possesses the body and horns of a bull, a head like a Tyrannosaurus, the plates of a stegosaurus all the way down it's powerful back and becoming spikes as they trail down it's tail, which ends in a very angry snake head. There is no end of this creature's body which is not hard, sharp, and completely pissed off. If you manage not to get bitten or gored at it's head, you will still need to contend with the powerful hooved legs attempting to stomp down on you, and take care to dodge as the snake head on it's tail spits fire. | 8-10 |
Even after the defeat of the Portals, there's still a lot of things to do! All of the Guilds are open. There's a good training space outside of them to test our powers and computers where you can learn all about what kind of powers you can unlock.
All guilds also have the same Questboard open! Why not take a look and see what adventures await?
- Ask your questions related to the TDM here.
- The TDM is available only to friends of the mods and their friends. If you're not a friend of the mods and want to play in the TDM, please leave a note here to inform us who invited you over. We will get to you as soon as possible!
- Feel free to visit the EMP/ATP - meme!
- New characters can add TDM on their subject line to indicate they're new! They can also comment HERE to promote their new top levels.
- Test Drive is open for current characters to make a top level as well.
- Current characters cannot access the starting area again to meet new arrivals. They can, however, be at the Research Center when the newbies are teleported in.
- The TDM is game canon so anything in the TDM can happen for your character(s) in the game as well.
- Smut is not allowed on the TDM. You can play situations leading to it, but if the thread is turning into smut, please move it to a private space such a post in your character's journal, or a locked post in the game's log community if you decide to app!
- Check Locations: City to find more areas to explore inside the city. Every place in the districts are open. Similarly, Locations: Segments is useful for outdoors adventures.
- You can find monsters to encounter on Beastiary.
- FAQ has information on characters' smartphones as well as general things about the world that might be handy.
using a mix of manga & anime dialogue, don't mind me
"This is where I'm gonna die," he whispers, believing it. It's only a matter of time. Marcel is gone. Marcel was eaten, all to protect him. The others must be dead, too. All because of him. All because he was never worthy of becoming a Warrior in the first place.
Unbeknownst to him, a blond girl and a dark-haired boy—Annie and Bertolt—finally reach Reiner's side, gasping for breath. Without preamble, Annie hauls back and kicks Reiner in the chest.
Reiner screams. Screams and flails backward, eyes closed, panic erasing all his years of combat training. When nothing else happens, he finally opens his eyes—and there's Annie, exhausted but alive, standing beside Bertolt.
Reiner's screams die in his throat.
"Not bad," Annie gasps. "That's the … first time … I've ever lost to you … in a foot race."
Bertolt slumps to his knees wordlessly, still trying to catch his breath. Reiner says nothing, the pride he might have felt at such an accomplishment absent in the face of everything else.
"If we … had immediately gotten a hold of the Titan … that ate Marcel," Annie continues, her breath slowly returning to normal. "We wouldn't have lost … the Jaw Titan. But you two ran, and … I didn't know what to do, either." She closes her eyes. "He's … not coming back … now."
He's not coming back. Marcel isn't coming back. Because Marcel is dead, and it's Reiner's fault.
"But," Reiner protests, as if his words might change anything, "there weren't supposed to be any Titans yet! They said they'd be … closer to the wall…"
"Not all of them." Bertolt's voice is harsh; when he raises his head, fear fills his eyes. "It's not like every Titan is going to be acting exactly according to our plans… Didn't you learn that…?"
Bertolt has never looked at Reiner like that before. Never looked at him with such overwhelming disappointment. It cuts deep, hurts more than Annie's kick to his chest, leaves him speechless for a moment too long.
"Enough," Annie declares, turning her back on Reiner. "Let's go back. We'll find Jaws, then we'll go back. That Titan will probably have turned back into a human somewhere by now. And it's not as if we can complete the plan to retake the Founder without Marcel's leadership. The plan has … already failed. This place isn't safe, either. A Titan could show up at any time."
Wordlessly, Bertolt stands, turning to follow Annie. Reiner remains on the ground, watching his fellow Warriors' retreating backs. Watching, terror churning in his gut as they decide to abandon the mission.
"… Wait."
The word is spoken in two voices. One voice is the boy's, still seated on the ground, his wide eyes pleading. The other comes from behind Gabi: a young man's voice, his tone far more forceful, gold eyes burning with intensity.
"No, we can't go back," the two Reiners say—the child on the ground, reaching out a beseeching hand; the young man with his fists clenched, staring over Gabi's head as if she isn't there, his eyes locked on Annie. "We'll continue the plan."
no prob I'm doing the same
Her entire youth, she'd grown up hearing how her cousin Reiner was a hero.
Seeing him like this, younger than she is now, in a foreign land, fearing for his own life, feels her with a lot of conflicting feelings.
"--WHUUUH!"
Whoop, not so alone anymore. Gabi jumps back, hands up when Annie suddenly kicks him and he, similarly, yells his head off. She wants to yell at Annie to knock it off, but of course, she can't hear her. Gabi already knows at this point she can't affect anything in these memories--
--memories. Wait. If this is a memory portal...then someone who this memory belongs to must be in Nightwake?! She quickly looks around and even looks up to make sure nobody's in the tree. This memory...belongs to one of these three. Annie, Bertolt or Reiner. That means one of the Marleyan Warriors is in Nightwake, which...again, fills her with a lot of conflicting feelings that she can't even begin to parse as Bertolt and Annie start to walk off.
(If it's Annie, it's probably fine, right? She may not be popular with Jean and some of the others, but she can explain the alliance to them and Hange-san will back her up, even Levi will even if...she doesn't wanna think about some of the stuff she saw Annie do in Levi's memories, right now....if it's Bertolt, that's a lot more complicated. She never knew Bertolt and he doesn't know about the alliance...)
Gabi's barrage of quick thoughts, all mashed together in the space of a few seconds, are suddenly pierced by another voice.
"I know you'll be able to complete your mission." She places her hands over her ears and blinks. "And I'm sure your father is praying for your success too."
She instantly recognizes the voice of her Aunt Karina. She remembers something like this happening in Levi's memory. When his inner thoughts became so strong, Gabi could hear them as well. This is the same kind of thing. Which can only mean this memory belongs to...
Her eyes fall to the boy on the ground as he calls to his two fellow Warriors. Her breath catches in her throat as she hears two voices saying to wait. She hears both, but her eyes stay on the boy. Just like the Braun behind her, she's too focused on the past to realize what's right next to her just yet. Even if she's focused on a past of a slightly different sort.
"That day, when Marcel was eaten....Annie and Bertolt wanted to abort the mission."
"True..." Annie says, an unpleasant frown on her face. "You" can't go back like this." She then dispassionately lays out the reality of the situation. "If you go back to Marley now, they'll strip you of the Armor for this disgrace. The next warrior will eat you..." And in a way only Annie can, she matter-of-factly adds, "...not that it makes any difference to me."
"And you're so sure that'd only happen to me?"
"Not just to save my own skin, but..."
Within a couple seconds, Reiner is throwing out every conceivable reason to not abandon the mission. All three of them will be purged -- they can't catch the Jaws anyway - if they transform, they'll just attract more titans - they can't go back with nothing to show for it. And with what she's seen in Eren's memories, she understands exactly why he's so desperately arguing to continue on, despite this fiasco.
"Because I wanted to be a hero! I wanted to be respected!"
The boy in front of her is only 12 years old, but at this moment, she can practically see right next to him, down on his knees in practically the same pose, her cousin nearly twice as old, crushed by his guilt, baring his soul to his enemy. She starts to raise a hand.
"Don't..." She murmurs, barely above a whisper.
"If we ever want to go back to our homeland...we need results," he says. "We need the founder...we can't go back without it now..." And Gabi knows that he successfully convinces them. And she knows that they successfully infiltrate the walls. And she knows how they spend the next five years. And now, she knows in agonizing detail what it does to her cousin.
"Your mother was eaten by a titan because of me!"
"I can't stand this anymore...please, just kill me!"
She tries to reach out and grab him. She tries to call out to him. She should know that he can't actually hear her. But she's still practically begging a 12-year old ghost to do something that's simply not an option for him, in any sense of the world.
"We were wrong, Reiner...! Please, don't break the wall!"
no subject
But this is what has to happen. Their fate was sealed years ago. They can't go back; they just have to keep moving forward, carrying out their duties as Warriors until the end.
And Reiner cannot—will not—turn away from this path.
But there's something wrong with the scene. Even as Annie speaks again, pointing out Reiner's utter lack of composure when the Titan attacked, the real Reiner—the one watching his memories—finds his attention dragged away. He sees a brown-haired girl reaching for his child-self, saying his name, pleading with him. He hears her words—
Please, don't break the wall!
—and something in him snaps into place, his loyalty to his hometown surging to the surface, his mother's rhetoric blaring in his ears.
"What did you say?"
Annie kicks the child Reiner in the face. Starts screaming at him, berating him, stomping on his face again and again. Reiner barely notices. He reaches out, trying to grab the strange girl by the arm, demanding her attention.
If Gabi looks, she won't find the face she likely remembers most vividly: thinner, sharper cheekbones, a goatee on his chin and bags beneath his eyes. Nor will she find the face of Reiner after everything ended, when he shaved and got some decent sleep. This is the face of Reiner when he returned from Paradis, just before he was shipped off to fight a war caused by his defeat. Younger, healthier, maybe three years her senior—
And there's not a trace of recognition in his eyes, wide and intense, staring into her. Not a hint of fondness or familial love.
"TAKE THE BLAME AND DIE!" Annie screams, kicking one last time. Tears are running down Bertolt's cheeks. The child Reiner is lying facedown in the grass, his face a bloody pulp.
But Reiner only has eyes for this stranger, her words ringing in his skull.
"Why would you say that?" he demands, anger leeching into his voice. "Who the hell are you to say that?"
no subject
Gabi practically jumps back as Annie just hauls off and kicks Reiner right in the chin. Blood immediately goes spraying out of his mouth and Gabi is pretty sure part of his jaw is broken now. She expects to fall backwards onto the grass but instead she bumps into someone behind her. She turns her head and her eyes immediately get bigger.
"R...Rein--"
She's interrupted and turns her head back as Annie continues ranting and -- oh. That sound is her proceeding to stomp Reiner's face in. She tries to turn away as she screams and curses at him and tells him to take the responsibility and give his life for his failure. It's worse than when she saw Jean jump across a campfire to grab Reiner and pummel him. It's way worse. At least Gabi could do something about that by diving on top of him, but she's snapped out of whatever reverie she was in enough to know there's nothing she can do to affect this.
It doesn't make it any less unnerving, still hearing the sounds of his bloody gurgling as she stomps and kicks and screams behind her. Hearing that behind her and seeing the man it happened to right in front of her...her cousin. It takes her little time to place his face. He's not the man who she last saw when she wished him good luck to as he got on a ship back to this very island to try and advocate for peace. She remembers...the first time she'd seen him since she was a baby, after he'd spent five years away, fighting for them, returning to Liberio in abject disgrace for only the briefest of moments before he was to be shipped off to several more years of battle. She remembers exactly what she said to him at that moment.
"I'm a Warrior candidate now, too...! So...I promise, I'll join you on the front lines, soon! We'll both fight for the Eldians together!"
Somewhere in her mind, it strikes her, that he heard what she said about not breaking the wall, and he's not happy about it. But she can't put those facts together enough to explain herself, just yet. She looks up at him. She turns her head back, she sees Annie and Bertolt, both in tears as the memory of Reiner just rolls around on the ground in a bloody pulp. Then she turns back to the Reiner in front of her, and she does the same thing she did just recently when she saw him off on his journey as a peacemaker. She does the same thing she did when she wanted to encouraged him for the upcoming battles he would have to fight, beating down her own fears that he would die in battle or be stripped of the Armored Titan. She does what she really, really, really wishes she could do to the bloody, beaten 12-year old on the ground right behind her.
She steps into him and throws her arms around him.
She has no idea if he'll accept it. It hasn't fully clicked for her that he doesn't recognize her. For all she knows, he'll think she's some kind of...island devil sympathizer. She hasn't noticed the memory of Reiner standing up behind her -- for all she knows, she and Annie could be in very similar situations in the next five seconds. None of that is going through her mind at this moment. She's just doing what she wants to do.
no subject
Right now, he's angry. And he's not at all ashamed of the fact that he's trying to intimidate the strange girl. He doesn't know who she is, how she's here, or why she said what she said. But he intends to get answers from her, whether she feels like talking or not.
But the girl doesn't recoil. She doesn't fight. She doesn't offer a half-assed excuse or even an explanation. Instead, she steps in and flings her arms around him, pressing against his middle in a tight embrace.
And Reiner … freezes. He just freezes. Freezes in the same way he froze when Ymir's Pure Titan rose behind him, unable to process the situation quickly enough to save himself. Freezes in the way he never seems to when it's someone else's life on the line, his desire to protect his loved ones overcoming whatever broken survival instinct resides inside of him. The strange girl wraps her arms around him, and he freezes.
No one has hugged him like this in years. No one. Not since he sailed away from his hometown, his mother's lies ringing in his ears, his father's rejection heavy in his heart. He's felt other kinds of embraces, the sorts that pass between comrades and partners, but nothing quite like this. Nothing that brings his family to mind.
Slowly, the aggression drains from him, culled by the stranger's (bewildering, welcome) affection. He doesn't even know who she is. Cautiously, he looks down at her, seeing nothing but a head of brown hair pressed against his chest. Her eyes looked familiar, didn't they? Or is his mind playing tricks on him again?
In front of him, the child Reiner rises to his feet, features nearly unrecognizable beneath a sheen of blood. Then he leaps at Annie, catching her in a chokehold, blood spitting from his lips as he grits out, "Reiner is dead."
… Fuck. Reiner doesn't want the strange girl to see this. He doesn't want her to hear it. He doesn't want any witnesses; he doesn't want anyone but Bertolt and Annie to know about this. But he doesn't know how to escape from this memory. He can't even bring himself to escape from the girl's embrace.
"If we need Marcel … then I'll be Marcel."
He tried to be, didn't he? He tried so hard that he lost himself, splintering into whatever the hell he is now. Was this moment the beginning of it? Was Marco's murder only a catalyst?
"Please, stop this…" Bertolt pleads, motionless save for the tears rolling down his cheeks, apparently unable or unwilling to intervene.
Reiner sucks in a breath. Responding to Bertolt's plea in a way that he could never respond to his own.
"How do we get out of here?" he asks the girl, still motionless in her embrace.
no subject
"Reiner...we -- we get it already."
God, this sucks. Knowing why Reiner forced that on himself - forced himself to "be Marcel", a leader that could carry out the mission, just makes it worse. She turns her head away as the Reiner behind her says one more time that they'll make it back to their hometown and squeezes the Reiner in front of her one more time.
"...there's a portal somewhere," she murmurs. "It's like a hole in the air. The city should be on the other side of it."
She doesn't want to stay here any longer, either. She doesn't know exactly how long it is, but she essentially knows what happens next. They get to the walls. Bertolt breaks open one gate, then Reiner breaks open another and....a whole lot of bad, bad, bad stuff becomes pretty much unavoidable from that point on. She almost feels like someone is mocking them, making them relive all of this crap without being able to do anything about it. If she ever finds out who, she's gonna pop them in the nose.
After a few more seconds, she lets out a sigh. They can't find that portal if she's holding onto him forever, huh. She lets go, but she grabs his hand as she does. She doesn't look back again. Part of her doesn't want to look away, but...most of her feels like she's intruded on Reiner's memories enough for one day, already.
"Or, I guess. It might just end on its own, eventually." That was what happened when she was in Eren's memory. Both of them just really not wanting to be there anymore had been enough to get them out.
no subject
Reiner lets that knowledge settle in his chest, feeling the phantom thump of Bertolt's fist between his shoulder blades. Then the strange girl squeezes him again, pulling his attention away from the scene as she offers a way out.
A portal. Great, more magical crap that Reiner doesn't understand. But searching for a hole in the air is better than standing here helplessly, trapped by his memories.
"'Eventually' isn't soon enough," he says, glancing down at their joined hands. Then his gaze rises to her face, getting a good look at it for the first time. He was right: her eyes are familiar. Her whole face is familiar, although there's something a little off about it. He studies her for a moment, doubting his own suspicions. (It wouldn't be the first time his perception failed him.) Then he lifts his gaze, glances toward Wall Maria…
… And promptly starts striding off in the opposite direction. Because if there's a portal out of this memory, it sure as hell won't be in the direction his past self is headed.
The girl's hand is still clasped in his. He grips it firmly, though not too tight, and tells himself it's because he doesn't want her wandering off and witnessing anything else. But after a few moments, he speaks.
"You look…"
… What? Like a younger version of his aunt?
"… Familiar. And evidently, you know who and what I am."
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She's just looking around, trying to find some trace of it, until she's addressed. She turns her head and blinks once as Reiner...almost puts it together. She squints at him for a couple seconds, seeming to pay particular attention to...his chin? For some reason?
"Yeah..."
And despite what they just witnessed, she manages to give him a small smile.
"Of course I do. You're my favorite cousin."
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Not for the first time, Reiner wishes this place didn't play with time. He could do without people from the future acting all weird toward him.
He glances over at her as she speaks, a familiar smile on her too-familiar face. Then she continues, and…
… Reiner actually keeps walking for a few more steps, the meaning of her words not quite registering. Then he stops dead in his tracks, oblivious to the portal finally visible ahead, and he twists to face her fully.
His cousin. His cousin. A girl that looks so much like his aunt, he might've thought them the same person. A girl who shouldn't be this old, no matter how many years Reiner has spent in Paradis, but—
"Gabi?" he asks, hope and disbelief at war in his voice.
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"Yeah." She nods. "It's..." She looks off to the side. "Complicated." That's a bit of an understatement, but shockingly, she does have a way to sort of explain. "It's...kinda like the Coordinate?" She says tentatively, raising her hand to make...some kind of up-and-down gesture that's supposed to represent the Paths. "In Nightwake, not just people from different worlds, but different points in time from the same world can all be connected, here. It's uh..." She lets out a little laugh, not really knowing how he'll react to this. "857 for me!"
To her knowledge, still the furthest ahead. Levi and Hange are the closest, then Eren (although with the Founder and all of his weird memories...she doesn't even know if time affects that guy). Everybody else, including Reiner, seems to be a ways back.
"What's the last thing you remember?" She asks. She again starts looking at his chin and even touches it with her thumb this time. "Hmmmm. You haven't started growing your beard yet, so it really is a while back, huh...?"
A short distance away, amidst a now long since extinguished campfire, some discarded tools for cooking and one....very big hole in the ground, is the portal out of here. Now that they're not directly intruding on Reiner's memories anymore, she's actually fine standing here for just a minute. She figures it might be a good idea to figure a few things out before Reiner is, y'know, running into all of the people Reiner fought to the death with a bunch of times that she would kind of like to still be friends with.
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Because mostly, Reiner is just staring at her. Gabi. His little cousin. A girl who was only a toddler when he left his hometown for Paradis: chubby-cheeked, pudgy-limbed, and absolutely adorable. Now here she stands, a young woman just a few years his junior.
Reiner knows that he's missed things back home. Birthdays, celebrations, new loves and losses. He knows that life has continued on without him. But to see his cousin like this…? It hits him in a way he doesn't expect, making that ever-present ache for Liberio clench in his chest.
Gabi reaches out to touch his chin, shaking Reiner from his daze. 857, seven years in the future. How old is Gabi now? He can't immediately do the math, but… But if she's from seven years in his future, that means his time is up. He's dead.
No wonder she hugged him so tightly.
"I grow a beard?" Reiner asks, which is doubtless the least important thing Gabi mentioned, but it's the first thing that comes out of his mouth. Hearing it, he quickly speaks again: "Last I checked, it's 850. We're still—I haven't been home in years."
Then he huffs a laugh, a smile stealing across his face, amber eyes warming. "You got so tall," he says, reaching out to ruffle her hair as he did when she was a kid.
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Gabi's eyes fall a bit, breaking eye contact with Reiner. She's...gonna have to be very careful how she deals with all of this. She can't just dump everything on Reiner at once. If she tells him about the alliance, he'll no doubt ask why they aligned with each other. If she tells him about the Rumbling and the destruction of Liberio, he might go try to kill Eren the second they're through that portal. Her own extremely complicated feelings on Eren aside, she can't let this turn into some kind of micro-repeat of the awful war they all fought against each other. She doesn't want Nightwake to get swept up in that.
She refuses to let Levi or Reiner get swept up in that. They both matter to her too much. They've both been through enough.
So...extremely careful, it is. Just...be really, really careful about how she reveals everything, both in terms of their future and the situation in Nightwake, where so many of her friends and his enemies currently are.
Her head twitches a little as she feels his hand touch her head. That and his words break her train of thought briefly.
"Aheheheh!" She giggles. "Yup! I'm getting pretty big, huh?" Then with a bit of a mischievous tone, she adds "Levi says I'm sprouting up like a weed!"
In her defense, she lasted at least 30 seconds.
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Because Gabi didn't just say "Levi." No way. Not unless there's another Levi kicking around somewhere who isn't the infamous devil known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. There's no way that Captain Levi has been anywhere near Gabi, much less often enough to comment on how quickly she's growing. So, Reiner misheard. Pure and simple.
"Who says that?" he asks, perfectly pleasant, giving her hair an extra ruffle before taking his hand away.
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"Uhhhhhhhhhhh."
Great start.
She really needs to think of something quickly. Okay, what are all the ways she can talk her way out of this. Quick!
1. Reiner apparently misheard you, so make it into some other name. How about...Lev...a...Leva. Leva? Wow, super creative, Gabi.
2. Say it's some OTHER Levi! Levi's a common name, right?! You can just pretend it's someone from back home for now and then when Reiner has been coaxed into the alliance a little more, tell him the truth!
3. Say it's something else entirely, not a person. Like some kinda object, like maybe, clothes that you don't fit into anymore -- like jeans! Oh, no, that's stupid, nobody would ever call jeans "Levis".
"Nnnnnggghhhhhh...."
She kinda looks like smoke is about to start coming out of her ears at this point. She's just about ready to go with the second one, she's perfectly ready to rationalize it to herself and everything (it'd just stress Reiner out right now to know that somebody he fought is her friend, it'll go over better later), but she just....can't do it. After everything he's already been to, she just can't bring herself to lie to him. Not about this. Not about something that, screw it, is important to her.
"....I ssssaaaid Levi," she eventually groans out, in a she-knows-this-is-gonna-suck kind of tone of voice. "I didn't wanna tell you like this, but it just kinda slipped out. Levi is my friend." She shakes her head and sighs. Screw it, in for a penny, in for a pound. "He's more like my best friend -- well. Not. Not more than Falco, necessarily!" She suddenly feels the need to add. "Falco is like...different."
She starts waving her hands around to indicate something.
"We're not like, not friends, but we're not like, totally like that, either! We're just. We're just kind of doing this thing where we wanna get to know each other in a place besides training and fighting and stuff and I just wanna make sure I take my time, and he's been really patient about it, but I dunno, after three years, don't you kinda know a person, I think maybe I should just ask him if we wanna officially call it something, but I'm also kinda scared to put a label on it but--"
She stops.
She clears her throat.
"I am getting a little off topic."
She started blushing around the time she, completely unprompted, mind, brought up Falco.
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Levi, who stabbed Reiner through the spine and heart. Levi, who would like to see Reiner get what he deserves. Levi, who must be working some angle by getting near Gabi, or who must not know who she is, who she's related to, who loves her, and fuck, fuck, what will those devils do to her if they find out…?!
They're being careful not to kill her, whispers Armin's voice, poison in his ear. But they won't let her rest. At this very moment, they're inflicting pain on her every way they know how—
Reiner swallows, just once, forcing down the fear clawing at his throat. He'll have to negotiate with them. That's all there is to it. He'll have to contact Commander Hange and arrange some sort of agreement to keep Gabi safe. To keep everyone he loves safe.
Gabi keeps talking, and it takes Reiner a moment to come back to himself, to realize she's talking about a boy. A boy that she likes, blushing even as she speaks of him. A boy that she wants to call her boyfriend, by the sound of it, but she's scared of messing things up.
Unbidden, Bertolt face flashes through Reiner's mind, flushed with embarrassment as Reiner teased him about Annie. Protesting whenever Reiner pushed him to admit his feelings. Staring at Reiner with an expression that made Reiner hope, and long, and wish, but—
… Damn. He and Gabi really are cousins, aren't they?
"Falco," Reiner manages to say, the name vaguely familiar, tugging at some long-dormant memory. Something about a Warrior Candidate, maybe? If so, Reiner's mother must approve; she'd want her niece to marry a Warrior, even if it made Gabi a widow far too early.
… Marry? What the hell is he thinking about?
Reiner shakes his head to clear it, fear and confusion and everything else fogging his thoughts. Then he forces out a small laugh. "Sorry, it's just…" His gaze cuts to the side, staring blankly at the horizon. "You were three, Gabi. This high," he says, indicating with a hand, "hanging onto my shirt, yanking it whenever I looked away. And now…"
How old is she? Reiner does the math, throat tightening as he comes up with the answer: fifteen. The same age as Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and so many of the others. No, the same age they were. Because Eren lived to turn twenty, somehow, and—
He runs a hand through his hair, restlessly pushing it back. The last thing he needs to think about right now is Eren Yeager.
"Falco," he repeats, firmer this time, his eyes darting back to meet Gabi's. "Did I like him?"
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She's so wrapped up in it that she doesn't notice how scared he looks, rather than anything approaching anger. She doesn't really look at him again until he speaks, repeating the name she had said. Falco's. She realizes quickly that he...probably doesn't know anything about Falco, either. And then she's blushing for a different reason as Reiner's hand goes to...somewhere around his own knee.
"Well, if I didn't hang onto your shirt, that was usually when you left..." She murmurs, rubbing her own arm. That's the main thing she remembers of Reiner from her youth. That he was gone, no doubt to Warrior training, so often, before he was gone-gone and she wouldn't see him again for years and years.
"....yeah. You actually..." She rubs her head, still embarrassed. "You and Falco got along so well, I got pretty jealous of it sometimes. I was always thinking something like 'where does he get off trying to take the Armor from me and cozy up to Reiner like that?!'" Back when she'd considered anything that got in the way of inheriting the Armor to be her enemy. When she'd been so determined to get it, partially because she just...wanted to be connected to Reiner through it so badly. She looks up. "You guys even had some promise between you...he never told me what it was, though."
In the three years since she'd heard about it, she could make a few guesses, but, they were just that.
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And in the end, Reiner returned a hero, didn't he? He must have. But … if that were the case, how did Eren live to see twenty?
Reiner is missing pieces, important ones. But the weight of everything is already pressing down on him, a mental strain he knows could lead to collapse. He has to keep it together. For Gabi, he has to keep it together. He won't let her witness him fall apart; he can't let her know what a half-assed piece of shit that island made him.
Which is why, when Gabi says, "take the Armor from me," Reiner doesn't immediately recoil. That cold pit of fear roils in his gut, body tingling with the horrified realization that his baby cousin must've become a Warrior Candidate.
Just a candidate, though. Just a candidate. She must've stayed a candidate. She can't have received his Armored. Otherwise, she'd know whatever promise Reiner made … and she would know about the memory they just witnessed. She would've seen it. So she can't have received the Colossus or the Female, either. That still leaves the Jaw, Beast, and Cart unaccounted for, but—
No, she's fifteen. 857. Reiner is dead, and so are the rest of the Warriors of his generation. If Gabi received any of the Nine, she would've told him first thing. Right?
He's sweating, he realizes. Sweating on his forehead as well as the back of his neck. Does he look like Bertolt does when trying to keep it together? If so, Reiner can't be doing a very convincing job.
"That's good," he forces out, making himself smile. Making himself someone reliable, someone strong. "I'm glad that you have someone like that, Gabi. It sounds like you two really care about each other."
Reiner's eyes flick away again, the reminder of their surroundings pressing in, memories clawing at his mind. "We should keep moving. Things will escalate soon if they haven't already."
He turns, takes two steps in the way they'd been moving—and then stops dead, finally seeing what Gabi glimpsed. An extinguished campfire. Discarded supplies. A hole torn into the earth.
Bile rises in his throat. He claps a hand over his mouth, white-faced, eyes locked on the spot where Marcel died.
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Sometimes, she really had no idea why Falco cared about her so much, after everything he'd gone through because of her. Pretty much every bad thing that had happened to them on Paradis had been her fault. But Falco had his own share of guilt, for being tricked by Eren, so he thought they were the same, she guessed. The math on that didn't check out even a little bit, but...that was the kind of guy Falco was.
She kinda missed him, now that she thought about it.
Reiner's mention of things escalating gets her back into the present (well, the past, but, a different past) and she knows he's right. They're going to break the wall soon. She doesn't want to be around here for that. If they don't leave, they'll be dragged along with Reiner's perspective and witness it happening. That thought is enough to make her totally ready to walk through the portal with Reiner, but...he stops. She blinks and looks up at him.
"Rei--?"
Then she sees the look on his face. She's seen a lot of different emotions from Reiner in a short stretch of time, from anger to fear to something she thinks is pride, but the look on his face...she can't say she's never seen it before. Most recently, in one of Eren's memories, as he was crushed by his own guilt over what the memory of him is about to do. But she can remember one other time, when the two of them were at their lowest, him injured and stripped of his armor....
"I couldn't stop him. Eren...is going to destroy the world..."
It's not the exact same, but. The horror and pain and the feeling that he, solely, was responsible for preventing it...it's pretty close. It's enough for Gabi to piece together what probably happened here. For a second, she thinks she doesn't have any idea what to do or say to help him, but after a few seconds of awful silence, something occurs to her. She's...actually pretty familiar with this feeling. She gives Reiner's other hand a squeeze, just to remind him that she's there.
"...do you. Think it'd help at all to say anything?" She asks. "Do you have anything you want to say to him?"
For her part, she's thought a lot, a lot about what she would say to Porco if she had a chance. She doesn't want to dump all of it on Reiner right now - how Porco sacrificed himself to save Reiner from Falco, who'd been turned into a titan by Falco, who'd drank Zeke's spinal fluid protecting Gabi. He doesn't need to hear it right now. But when it comes to the Galliard brothers...she thinks she understands a bit about what he's feeling right now.
cw so much survivor's guilt
And then, when the sun rose: Marcel saving him. Shoving Reiner out of the way when Reiner froze. Marcel disappearing into a Titan's mouth, no time to transform. Marcel's wide eyes staring at Reiner as the Titan's teeth closed down, mouth still open in a shout. Marcel dying to save him.
Reiner was the last thing Marcel saw. What was Marcel thinking? Why did he do it?
Gabi squeezes his hand, pulling Reiner halfway out of the pit of memories. He squeezes back, his hand starting to tremble. Holding onto Gabi like a lifeline.
Does he have anything he wants to say…? Reiner's throat works, too many emotions surging through him, guilt and grief and regret howling like a tempest. He'll never get the chance to find out what Marcel was thinking; he'll never get an answer to why. Maybe Marcel didn't think at all. Maybe Marcel saved Reiner simply because it was the right thing to do.
But it wasn't the right thing. Not by a long shot.
"… You were always apologizing to me," he starts, quiet words for the dead. "I never understood why. Even at the end, I didn't understand it. You said I wasn't supposed to be here, but…" His voice breaks, hot tears stinging his eyes. He slides his hand up to cover them, his lip quivering.
"… But you shouldn't have saved me. You shouldn't have sacrificed yourself. Bertolt and Annie—they needed you, not me."
He sucks in a shaky breath, his broad shoulders curling in. Forgetting that Gabi is with him, forgetting that she can hear everything as he confesses:
"It should've been me. I'm so sorry, Marcel. It should have been me."
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Gabi thought her suggestion might help Reiner find some sort of closure, but she really should've known better - she's already seen what his time on Paradis did to him. All of it is probably much, much more raw and painful for him right now. He's just not in a spot where he can even know that closure is something to look for. It's so terribly easy to see how the shaking teenager next to her becomes a broken man, begging for death in just a short few years.
She beats down the temptation to just throw her arms around him and insist, no, that's not true!, try and take away his guilt, convince him that he deserves to live without it. Part of her really, really wants to tell him that he does, in a way, get to see Marcel and fight beside him one more time. But she knows that if she starts that right now, she won't be able to stop and she's determined to not spill everything about the future on him before he's ready. More to the point, she doesn't think it would help that much. She doesn't have as thorough of a relationship with guilt as Reiner does, but she got pretty acclimated with it the last three years. 'It's not your fault' could be a pretty damn weak salve if you weren't in the right place to hear it.
"Reiner...."
She does, however, fail to beat the urge to wrap her arms around him. Or at least as far around him as she can get them. She buries her head into her shoulder. She can't stop the tears from coming to her own eyes either. It just hurts too much, seeing him like this. But she forces herself to keep talking, through the tears.
"...I...I never got the chance to meet Marcel. But. I heard about him - f-from Galliard-san and Pieck-san...they said that he was." She takes in a breath, bringing an arm up to her eyes and wiping her tears. "They said that he was a natural leader. That he was reliable and cared about everyone around him..." She let out a breath. "The truth is. I'm sorry I could never meet him, but. I'm grateful to him. I'm really grateful to him for saving you."
It felt awful saying that. That she was grateful that Marcel had gotten eaten by a Titan. But the idea of her cousin being gone and never seeing him again felt worse.
"...I don't wanna ask you to leave him here." Because that wouldn't be fair. Not all at once, anyway. He can't leave Marcel in this hole in the ground anymore than Gabi can leave Sasha Braus on that airship. She knows that. "But...can I ask you to please not feel like you have to be him for other people anymore? Not for Annie or Bertolt or anybody else. I'm sorry he's gone. But I don't want you to feel like you have to be someone else, to make up for something..."
She held onto him as tight as she could, tears flowing freely again.
"I just need you to be you, Reiner."
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Then Gabi begins to speak, listing the traits that Reiner knows so well: a natural leader, reliable, caring. All things Reiner broke himself to become. Did he ever succeed? No, if he is even a shadow of Marcel, it's still nothing in comparison. Reiner knows that in his bones.
But … Gabi didn't know Marcel. Gabi only knows him. Reiner, her cousin. The Warrior who went off to fight devils when she was just a toddler. Her cousin, who apparently comes back home and grows a goatee. To her, is he enough?
I just need you to be you, Reiner.
What does that even look like? Who is he when he's not trying to be someone else? He's not Marcel, the leader who looked after everyone. He's not the soldier who fought to defend the Walls. He's not the proud Warrior who earned the Armored. He's not the Honorary Marleyan with a far-off father who loves him. He's just…
What? What is he? A terrified child running from a Titan? A son throwing away his future to earn his mother's love? A boy stretching out his hand and begging the world to wait, please, just wait? A teenager struggling to stitch together the shredded remnants of his sanity?
A beloved cousin. A young man who died before Gabi turned fifteen. Someone that she needs, flawed and fractured as he is.
He can pull himself together for her, can't he? He can get to know the young woman she's become. He can see a time of her life that he will never be able to back home. He can be there for her. He can keep pushing forward.
Just do what you have to do. Just keep moving forward. It's all we can do.
He swallows down the ugly sobs that threaten to rip out of him. Squeezes Gabi a little tighter, his shoulder damp from her tears, trying (and failing) to stop trembling.
"Okay," he says, his voice shaking. He pulls in a breath, releases it slowly. "Okay," he repeats, a little steadier. And then—because it's all too much, too raw and painful—he adds, "I'm sorry."
Is he apologizing to Gabi? To Marcel? Both, maybe. He doesn't know.
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When he gives her a word of ascent, she manages a little smile. Then, she bumps her forehead against his briefly. She doesn't let go of him yet. She wants to just....spend one more moment like this. Holding him not because she's trying to pull him out of the spiral of his own guilt, but just because...she kind of missed her cousin since she arrived at Nightwake, and she wants to hold onto him.
"Okay," she says back. She thinks about telling him he doesn't have to apologize, but she keeps it to herself.
She has no idea how to tell Reiner all of the things that happen in his future. She doesn't know how she's going to explain to him that everything they were raised to believe was lies and the war they were fighting had been wrong and pointless and had nearly destroyed the entire world. She didn't know how they were going to deal with all of the people that Reiner had betrayed and fought to the death and not yet been forced to make peace with being here at the same time as him.
But it didn't matter. She would figure it out. They would figure it out. Right now, all she wanted was to try. Try and prevent the deeply damaged young man next to her, hanging by a thread though he may be, from becoming the completely broken man she saw in Eren's memories. Was that even possible? Jean seemed to think that if you went back to your world, you lost your memories of Nightwake. So maybe it wasn't even possible. She didn't care. She still wanted to try.
And for now, that meant leaving this place. So she finally lets go of Reiner and takes his hand in hers. Her smile is a little shaky, but, it's there. It's there for him. She gestures to the portal in front of them.
"Let's get outta here."
One foot in front of the other.